Saturday, March 7

College Life.... Ends?

End of term? Woaah. I still remember the cloudy evening of Sept'13 when excitement was coursing through every cell of my body, where my new crisp uniform was pressed twice and bag ready with new registers and smell of new books and new pens with polished shoes, with anticipation of the dawn of new morning, new life. And when the day arrived I found myself sitting at corner seat of front row amongst new people, trying hard to grasp the reality that I'm a college student, now. But as time flew by, I am sitting at the same place amongst those people who were strangers for me, once, trying hard to grasp the reality,again, that I'm no more a college student, now. Ironic, Isn't it?

By what I've heard of this place, it turned out to be something different. That eventful day of Sept 2'13, I felt like an astronaut ready to land on a mysterious land of some unknown star, because that was case with me, exactly. This college is something out of this earth. Totally different than what a college sounds like, in books and reality, it gave me moments to remember till my last breathe, memories to cherish till my memory allows, friends to hold on to till I reach my grave, teachers to stay grateful till the Doom's day and even after that.
Amidst the monotonous routine of work, mental stress, studies load, tough competition and whines of not getting enough time to rest, I learnt so much in life, about life.
From teachers to class mates to friends to Ayyaa Jee to random students to Canteen walay uncle to Photocopier to Van walay Uncle to everyone I get to know there, I won't be able to forget those any of them. For all the things they did for us, for all the love they showered on us, for all the care the showed through their strict attitude, for all the advices the lovingly gave, for all the warnings they clearly stated, and for the faith they have in us.
But in all this affection, I can't understand why I found myself distancing from myself, becoming a silent spectator of class activities and lousy students providing entertainment and giving a chance to laughter once in a while from the student who used to be a leading part of crazy acts, the hesitation to ask questions and get my doubts cleared cost me in my exams but still I couldn't brought myself to erase that resistance, and maybe for this reason my teacher would never remember a quiet( read: dumb) student of theirs, but I would never bring myself to forget those mentors, the literature teachers, who nourishes the soul and feeds the brain, at this crucial age, realizing the role they play in lives of young generation for the rest of kids lives is bigger than the science ones,who make the undigestable formulae and yucky theories easy to memorize till exams.
In order to continue the topic, the teachers went irrationally illogical sometimes, but that's okay, I guess. Because it was us, the reason behind that, but it became impossible at few times to keep that respect intact, and I hate myself for this. Lulz.

I'm proud to say I study in a college where canteen is smaller than a store room, where eating during lectures was an adventure, where we never got the chance to spend time library and read a book or two, where laboratory so small that it looks like an enlarged image of solid structure in which atoms are packed tightly,where a parking lot which was more like a ground to us, a college where we never bunked, and most importantly, I'll always stay proud of the fact that how the teachers used to stay at gate for assurance of our safety at bell times. I'm proud to say I'm a Punjabian. Soon to be an ex.
Wait. Is it okay to shed tears for a place you were just a part of, for two years. How can time pass by this quickly, with a gush of wind snatching this confused yet beautiful period of the togetherness. Of happiness. Of growing age.
With the thudding heart,the gleaming eyes, the beaming lips and the slightly shivering body, I confess, I'll miss this place. More than I ever imagined. Moreover, I can never thank God for this blessing.

P.S: rawayat ko barqarar rakhtay hoi, I don't know what I typed. But I need to do it. Leaving college is as difficult as leaving school. Time doesn't matter. Memories does. Okay, sorry. I started with rants again.

Thursday, December 18

..a story untold..

I woke up earlier than usual today, on Monday, which is quite strange for a person who loathes College and Monday and all the work and especially the exams going on, to pluto and back. There was plenty of time after prayers so I sat back thinking how to put my college on fire for once and all and end this monthly trauma of giving exams and sleep to my full. Deciding I'll never miss this obnoxious college, ever, I revised for my practical praying for it to get delayed. Well, Thank Imran Khan for shutting down Pakistan tomorrow, meh, I'll rest. yep.
...never knew my prayers will be answered this soon though...
Well, my mom served us breakfast which I so love, listening to stupid bickering of my siblings on weather and the nightmare they had the night before, like who got time for this idiotic stuff to discuss, jeez. Dad dropped us to school and I soon found my friends outside the auditorium where we discussed, revised, joked and planned on how to cheat (don't judge, we all do this.) , no I didn't plan any  celebration because I wanted to rest and that's what I was going to do. So, the practical started at 9 o'clock and to my utter surprise, I knew all the answers. Hah, very well done,lad.  finding it pretty easy I attempted and reread the answers within 90 minutes, satisfied with my exam I glanced at wrist watch which showed 10:25 , more than an hour to go. Sigh. I added ''the end'' on the last page, when I heard something like firing and... a blast? well, imagining it as my obsession with action movies and everything I shrugged it off, but soon.. there was chaos when these bullets were fired at us.. us.. the students, who didn't have a clue about what's happening.. I must thank all those action movies I watched, which my mom always called wastage of time and brain, helped me to act as fast as I can and I pretended I got hit as well and lied down.. as dead. While all my friends, with whom I grew up to be, my partners in crime, with bloodcurdling screams contributing in the pool of blood we were lying in. and in that moment, my facade of acting dead faded as I felt a friend of mine motionless falling on me.. and another realization dawned on me that I, certainly, donot hate my college nor I want to set it on fire and I felt the left side of my chest ache, and that ached badly.
they checked on me by shooting my leg to make I'm dead and I remembered that annoying brat of my brother, who is overly sensitive, must be in distress somewhere, that trouble maker. I crawled in red liquid and hiding behind those fallen bodies on the ground I ,once, or till morning, used to hop and jump and make noise and when I thought I failed in protecting my younger brother, I saw him there, in deep slumber on floor, like it's his favorite comfy recliner, Ain't he crazy. With determination of rescuing my brother and remembering I'm soon to be the protector of this dear land, I tried to stood up, and woah, nobody noticed me as well. I shook and shook him but I couldn't hear him snoring, that's what he love to do in sleep. Suddenly, I felt something cold against my neck and in next few minutes I was drowning in deep peace. Didn't I get what I always wanted, sleep and college on fire. Heyy! Hey, look where have we reached, me and my brother and all our friends.. WOAHH.. IT'S TOO BEAUTIFUL TO BE it heave....
Well... that's how the crisp white uniforms turned into scarlet red. 

P.S The story is based on a theme, I read other day. I tried to portray it in a bit different way..

Wednesday, July 16

Visible Gaza Vs Invisible Gaza.

I don't know from where to start. Muslim World, is at stake.We are somewhere in the middle of Chaos, Anarchy and some real holy mess. One look around the corner and all you see is distress and tension engulfing us from everywhere, nevertheless, It's all because of us.
Out of all the problems, the one of collision course is that of Gaza Under Attack. We all know what's happening there but lemme share a story with you before I proceed to my actual point. 
A story about...
 -a wonderful city that was bombed for no reason.
-a stone that faced the tank.
-a child who didn't grow up.
-a playground that was silenced.
-a book that wasn't read.
-a classroom that wasn't attended
-a burnt doll that wasn't played.
-a picnic that wasn't enjoyed.
-a wedding that wasn't celebrated.
-a farm that's fruits weren't picked.
-an axe who killed the tulip.
-a fire that consumed a plait.
-a missile that destroyed lives
-a wonderful city that was bombarded for no reason.
(via facebook)

Whatever happening there is the extreme level of brutality,the bloodthirstiness of Israelis, but,but I don't understood the reason behind supporting Hitler. DO YOU GUYS EVEN KNOW WHAT HIDEOUS ACTS OF KILLING INNOCENTS HE DID? Okay, they weren't Muslims but they were humans, No? they have got their rights and TADA! All Jews aren't evil. Generalizing acts is the worst thing we're doing here. Like woah, are you outta your mind, I believe I was when I updated that status, but as sanity prevailed I realized how coward I acted. So, where was we? Yeah, Mr.Adolf Hitler, he killed millions and he killed innocents. As a matter of fact, he did exactly what Israelies are doing to Palestine. Zionism is to Jews What Terrorism is to Muslims. 
End of this topic, Okay? Okay.So sorry to break this to you, but changing our profile pictures, headers, sharing that horrifying images and updating statues are not gonna play any role in their well being. Okay, now I'm convinced that they play a part. What we need are Protests and awareness, Education. But.. Wait.. What did I just say protests for them, but then what about us?
Pakistan, at this moment, is in state of extreme crises, do we even know that? Oh, how can we, We're just so busy in blaming government and complaining over 'light nahin aati, Panni Chala gaya hai and blekh.'along with making fun of all the things left. How can we even help them when we aren't doing anything for ourselves.  Our economy is falling, Poverty, Illiteracy, Corruption , Political Instability and what not. But the main concern is the our silence to hundreds of deaths happening everyday. EVER TUNED TO NEWS CHANNEL OR READ NEWSPAPER? 
Where's our concerns and dissents when our own people are assassinated in Quetta, When Children are mascaraed in Waziristan, When Karachitties are slayed,When our airports are attacked, When our girls are raped, When our brothers and fathers and sons are murdered in blasts, When million dies starving, When nobody notices how their neighbors are robbed, When everything in Pakistan is falling apart.
-Why aren't we taking a stand here? Why can't we just stand united for our own sake.
How are we supposed to help the visible Gaza when we can't lift a finger for invisible one.

Do something for your own people first, make them enough to go ahead and help Palestinians. Take a step and PLS, STOP SUPPORTING HITLER. 

P.S I'll really appreciate if you read the full post instead of skipping through lines. Thankyou.  

Tuesday, March 25

A List Of Why-es With No Answer.

Why is it so disgraceful when a girl smokes or get high on weed, but not for guy?
Why is it so shameful when a girl abuses, but not for guy?
Why everyone lose their mind when a girl spend a night out, but no-one gives a damn when a guy does?
Why disrepute girl when she gets into a relationship but rejoice when a guy get into one?
Why put every restriction on girls but let guys have their way?
Why stop girls from going to college but not guys?
Why a girl mustn't talk her opinion but guys must do?
 Why just point out girls and not guys?

         Why not teach our sons how to behave then obstructing our daughters within four walls?

But not always guys are at fault, Girls are too.
taali kabhi aik haath se nahi bajte, remember that.
We are too quick to judge, anyway.
This society, Sigh.
Well, talking about this society.. Another series of 'whys' crossed my mind..
Why are we considered modern when we go on wearing clothes that show our figure clearly?
Why are we considered cool when we abuse?
Why are we considered awfully awesome when we show attitude?
Why covering our hairs give away the feel of discomfort?
Why being rude makes us superior?
Why our elders impose rules and regulations but not make us understand lovingly?
Why we are forced to follow Islamic teachings instead of teaching us properly?
 When we can't make this youth get on right path by following our-selves the right way, we have no right to judge. NO.FREAKING.RIGHT.

I feel nothing but Shame to be a part of THIS society.
Answer my why-es and end my perplexity.

Note: If you read that till end, provide me answers, maybe?
anyway, pardon me, i don't know what i just scribbled, i've a paper tomorrow and i'm only done with 25% of it and it's already 8. Thank you. :~}

Monday, December 16

My First Poem. Ever.

-This poem, my first one, is dedicated to My Daadi Amma and Naani Amma. 
Standing at the panel,
Staring in Abyss,
I realized today,
How much i miss...
that bittersweet time,
Your scold, My laughter,
Your Grin, My frown
Your hand wiping my tears,
Giving me courage to win my fears,
Reminiscing those joyous memories
I realized today,
How much i miss
That getting wet in rain,
Using our not-so-effective brain..
 Showing that affection,
Winning our hearts
Where have you gone?
Leaving us all alone,
In a tangled maze.
As a tear rolled down,
I realized today..
How much you mean.
I wish you were here
So that i could tell  you,
I'm missing you terribly. 

P.S May Allah give them high rank in Jannah and may they be happy with their parents and siblings. May they be forgiven for every worldly sin. Ameen. 
P.S.S Thankyou for reading it. 

Wednesday, July 10

Ramadan Mubarak.

Narrated by Abu Hurraira : I heard Allah's Apostle saying regarding Ramadan, ''Whoever prayed at night in the month of Ramadan out of sincere faith and hoping for a reward from Allah, then all his previous sins will be forgiven''
Welcome the sacred 9th month of Lunar Calender, known and followed throughout the World, as Ramadan, with a promise to relish each and every moment of these blessed 30 days with prayers and well-wishes to everyone around. :)
A month to leave any other kind of activity and bow down in front of the Great Almighty, even eating. And the 259200 seconds where every deed cost us lakhs of sawab.
So much deeds to seek forgiveness, so much tension to ask for peace, so much destruction to beg mercy and so sins to be forgiven for.
We have again given a time period of one month to please The Almighty. The time period of a month with so Barkateen, Rehmateen, Saadaten ,Noor and Guidance. A time when all the devils are banned and the gate of hell is locked.The month where first ten days are of merciness, then next ten days are of forgiveness, while the last ten days are about Alahuma ajarni minan'nar. 

May Allah, the Merciful bestow you and your family with a beautiful month of fasting and nearness to him. 
May Allah, the Beneficial bless all the innocent Muslims suffering around the world, with no fault of theirs.
May Allah, the Creator show us the right path and give strength to walk on it crossing all hurdles. 
May Allah, the Exalted save us from the punishments waiting for us in the depth of grave.
May Allah, the Magnificent make us all pass pul-e-sirat without much difficulty.
May Allah, the Bountiful gave us reward for every single good deed we have ever done in our life.
May Allah, the Glorious  protect us from the burning fire of Dozakh  along with all creepy insects there.
May Allah, the Almighty  shower all his blessing upon the Ummat of Hazarat Muhammad(S.A.W)
May Allah, the Everlasting favor us by giving all the Muslims a place in the Jannah,beyond our imagination.
Ameen. SumAmeen. :')

Saturday, July 6


Today after hearing the news about the death of my class-mate with whom i've only shared pleasantries and that too sometimes, causes me to stop for a small moment and mourn over her departure leaving her family to understand her importance and pray for the peace of her soul in hereafter too.
While considering this undigestable fact of the sudden loss again and again, i realized a few things that What is so special to mourn over her death, when you are not even in talking terms? Why to cry over this loss when you never knew her? Nowadays anyone can die out of nowhere, then why to shed tears now? And most importantly, it is explained everywhere in our Religion, that their is no fixed time for a person to die and the death is pre-planned even before birth, then why to mourn on this death?


The only answer which satisfied me a bit is, that by knowing about this death, an un-explicable fear of leaving this world one day surrounds me. Not because i love this fake place of selfish people with few exceptions-so called World, but because looking back at the deeds i've done, its almost impossible to find something that would help me to escort all the pain waiting for me in the Qabar, and being the Prophet(S.A.W)'s Ummati, i'm promised to go in Jannah, but that too after bearing the punishment of that scary unveiled fire and creepy insects. I Can't bear the slight pang of pain then how can i survive there.
This was something that had scared me to my wits and i'm still thinking how would i please MY ALLAH to bestow me with mercy and forgiveness, not only me  but every Muslim out on this bad,fat Earth.

P.S I just scribble it down without noticing any mistake, will edit the post as soon as i can. :)
Remember me in the prayers of forgiveness. 

Friday, June 21

Abbu aap jesa koi nahi. -

The person sitting on the rocking chair engrossed in reading the newspaper in his hands,in his end forties with the permanent tension lines on his serene face with the strictness mirroring his personality, didn't seem to notice the eyes of a 16 year old, observing him. Rigid and precise in his decisions, but never grim or ignorant to our needs. This man is none other than my Abbu-ji. 
The world has given the father a wrong definition of strait-laced because he's the most caring person of a person's life.
He work so hard without having a second thought about his own needs, in an attempt to provide us every possible comfort. 
He is more a friend to me. I never thought for second time before approaching him about anything. I argue with him over pity matters and feel a lil above Sikandar-e-Azam when he say 'kisi ka maar khanay ka dil horaha hai' because it clearly mean that matter is totally over with me as a winner. He listens to my nonstop blabbering always, everywhere, without stoping me for once. He never banned anything on us. The only person who not only listen but also reciprocate that long parade salam, i always say.
Whenever i feel down or fight with anyone or have a bad day at school, i mostly consult him. I love when he is in his crazy mood.
 We are the cool budies people are jealous of, but our relation is not like anybody's else.
No matter how much best friend you're with your Dad, that layer of unexplicable fear is there bounding you and him in a decent relationship where you can go on and tell him things easily but not everything.
That respect for him which will make you do anything. You can argue with him but you can't disagree there. His words are final and we have to bow before them. You can open up to him but you know where your limits are. His 'Raub and Dabdaba' are what make him much more special.
A Father is a person who do everything he can, for his child and family but in a way that they are oblivious to common eye. That nobody see the warm love and fierceness protectness behind that cold mask. None ask him about how he feel when some misfortune happen, instead he support everyone hidding his pain behind the assuring eyes and comforting smile of everything is gonna fine.His love is infinite and he always show it through his actions. 

He never banned anything on us nor he even ever ordered us to do anything But he show us things, tell us how to use them and hand it over with all of his trust. He would never regret about trusting us, Trust me. InshaAllah. 

-I pray for Everyone to have their Dad healthy and Sound with them throughout their life casting a shadow of protectness from this savage world. 
P.S: I don't know what is this. :3 i love my Dad more than anything in this world. And May Allah keep him all safe and steady.

Saturday, June 15


RESULT!! The word itself is so scary, And you know how much if you're a student. As soon as the exams end, our relatives doesn't allow us to breath a single moment of relief by starting the questions like,

'Papers kese hoe?' 
''Result kab hai?'
Kitne number ajaen ge?'
'Competition to sakht hai na?'
and goes on.
And you know the result is never when you can't sleep well on night, and if you do, the only dreams that invade your mind are of the marks and anticipations i have. and in day time you are so anxious and tensed that all your talks end on exams, if not related to. 
My result of S.S.C part 2 is not so far. As heard, it is expected in the next week. Oh.Em.Gee! Within SEVEN DAYS! And the people around me are more curious. 
Every one from my cousins to aunties to neighbours to everyone again, knows that my result is coming. Uff! And they all are like, Matric ka result hai, hmm.! .  I have been to D.I.Khan for almost 2 weeks to spend my vacation and wherever i went, the conversation started with my result and ended it on, too.
I've been on anxious mode nowadays, because of the Urdu exam mainly and to be honest, i don't remember any other exam. 
FBISE yaar, please be a lil bit sympathetic to us and at-least give the date of the result. 
Jittery Students. -.-
P.S : I don't know what i wrote, just scribble it down in stress. .-.
P.S.S: Sorry, for wastage of your time. 

Tuesday, May 28

Summer Season.

I'm never obsessed with any season that i wish for other seasons to go away but i enjoy every season with its specialty. Summer season has its own specialty and i like it for that but To be honest i don't really like summer season while my elder Sister loves Summer.

I was thinking about the bad factors of this season and found few. :D

1- Garmi. 
i don't know about you, but i'm sweating all the summer because of the heat emitting from glorifying Sun.  and it is the main factor about summer. We can't even play outside because of the heat and i feel suffocation with a lot of people within room( which i usually love to be with all of them together).

Another disadvantage of Summer season is that i feel thirsty, very thirsty. While on tour to D.I.Khan i drink full bare wala glass of water after every half an hour and i don't feel like eating anything because of scorching Sun up there in sky.

The main thing i hate about summers here in Pakistan is load-shedding. Gosh! First its hell tiring burning day and top of all our dear Government deprives us of all the way we can get comfort except for hand-made fans and.. and what! you all know about the load-shedding better than me. 

How can i forget the mosquitoes here. Means that they are special Soghat of summer season who make our life miserable and when electricity passes away they got the perfect time to attack and we being victim can't do anything much except cursing them.

Okay, so here is disadvantages but there are 4 things i LOVE the most about summers. :D
they are,

1- Aam.
Mangoes! yeah. Who hate them? definitely not me. I love to eat them all summers and they are ripped full of juice and i just simply Love them. 

2- Pahari elaqon me ghomna.
We can't go to numbing cold places in winters or springs but summer because the temperature there is increased by bit. The scenery there captures our heart and i always wish to go there again.

3- Chutiyan.
Another thing i love about summers is that we are free from school but our teachers loaded us with the homework of about 6-7 years but still we have time to relax in roasting weather.

4- Thande or Khate khanne.
I'm not sweet or chillies freak but  frosty foods like ice-cream and  lil bit spicy food like goll gappe and we easily have them in summers. ;)

This is my opinion about summers. :D